WHAT SHOULD THE DEFINITION OF MARRIAGE BE???
This has been a hot topic lately with California's Proposition 8:“Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.”
What do you think...should everyone, even gay couples, be ALLOWED (wait, isn't this a free country?) to be married? I am not a gay person nor do I understand it or condone it BUT...does this give me the right to tell gay people that because of their sexual preference, they are not equal to ME? NO!!
I know this is a sensitive subject for a lot of people because of the conflict it creates with some religious, particularly biblical, beliefs. BUT: Aren't Christians taught to love EVERYONE? Just because you disagree with someone or something doesn't give you the right to dictate how they live their lives, does it? Everyone is entitled to the pursuit of happiness. For hells sake, even an incarcerated person is given the right to marry!!
It is a hard concept for straight peeps (including me) to grasp that men can love men and women can love women. Our usual initial response is: WHY? HOW? WHEN? WHAT THE HELL? It is crazy, awkward, unnatural, wrong, and even perverse in a lot of our minds. This thought is prejudice and selfish. Just because it doesn't tickle our fancy doesn't mean we can decide whether it is right or wrong.
I work with gay people (the stereotypical male flight attendants), my mom and a few of mine and Matt's cousins are gay, people I went to college with live that lifestyle, and even several people from itty bitty hometown of Salina, UT are gay. I have been exposed (if you will) to this lifestyle in many ways and I haven't been affected by it in a negative way (as yes voters of prop 8 say our children will IF homosexuals are allowed marriage rights). I love my co-workers, family, classmates and neighbors no matter their sexual preference. They are good people who have found love in a different form than most of us and they deserve to be happy too. Why would we try to rob them from that? They deserve the right to be married just as much as straight people do.
Anyway...I know this may cause some of you to seriously hate on me but I just wanted to put my two cents in on the issue.
PLEASE Comment and tell me what you think...even if you haven't commented before or don't even know me ( I blog stalk too ya know)!! I would love to hear your stance and I won't be offended if you disagree with me! I don't like to get into debates over issues, I just like to hear why people believe what they believe;)
I thought this kid in the video made some interesting sarcastic points on the issue. (Trying to keep it light! Enjoy.)
Sidenote: Some of you know this and some of you don't...I haven't been talking to my mom for over a year now. I just want to say that I am not not talking to her because she is gay. There is a deeper reason and series of events that lie beneath the surface that I won't go into on the blog for personal reasons. Nevertheless, I support her in her happiness, whatever it may be even if my beliefs are different than hers...we are still equals and I love her all the same. I am proud of who my mom is and I'm happy that she has finally found happiness. I hope someday things between us will be like they used to be...but it will take time.
(Sorry to get personal, but I just had to say that so I don't sound hypocritical to those who know the situation).
This has been a hot topic lately with California's Proposition 8:“Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.”
What do you think...should everyone, even gay couples, be ALLOWED (wait, isn't this a free country?) to be married? I am not a gay person nor do I understand it or condone it BUT...does this give me the right to tell gay people that because of their sexual preference, they are not equal to ME? NO!!
I know this is a sensitive subject for a lot of people because of the conflict it creates with some religious, particularly biblical, beliefs. BUT: Aren't Christians taught to love EVERYONE? Just because you disagree with someone or something doesn't give you the right to dictate how they live their lives, does it? Everyone is entitled to the pursuit of happiness. For hells sake, even an incarcerated person is given the right to marry!!
It is a hard concept for straight peeps (including me) to grasp that men can love men and women can love women. Our usual initial response is: WHY? HOW? WHEN? WHAT THE HELL? It is crazy, awkward, unnatural, wrong, and even perverse in a lot of our minds. This thought is prejudice and selfish. Just because it doesn't tickle our fancy doesn't mean we can decide whether it is right or wrong.
I work with gay people (the stereotypical male flight attendants), my mom and a few of mine and Matt's cousins are gay, people I went to college with live that lifestyle, and even several people from itty bitty hometown of Salina, UT are gay. I have been exposed (if you will) to this lifestyle in many ways and I haven't been affected by it in a negative way (as yes voters of prop 8 say our children will IF homosexuals are allowed marriage rights). I love my co-workers, family, classmates and neighbors no matter their sexual preference. They are good people who have found love in a different form than most of us and they deserve to be happy too. Why would we try to rob them from that? They deserve the right to be married just as much as straight people do.
Anyway...I know this may cause some of you to seriously hate on me but I just wanted to put my two cents in on the issue.
PLEASE Comment and tell me what you think...even if you haven't commented before or don't even know me ( I blog stalk too ya know)!! I would love to hear your stance and I won't be offended if you disagree with me! I don't like to get into debates over issues, I just like to hear why people believe what they believe;)
I thought this kid in the video made some interesting sarcastic points on the issue. (Trying to keep it light! Enjoy.)
Sidenote: Some of you know this and some of you don't...I haven't been talking to my mom for over a year now. I just want to say that I am not not talking to her because she is gay. There is a deeper reason and series of events that lie beneath the surface that I won't go into on the blog for personal reasons. Nevertheless, I support her in her happiness, whatever it may be even if my beliefs are different than hers...we are still equals and I love her all the same. I am proud of who my mom is and I'm happy that she has finally found happiness. I hope someday things between us will be like they used to be...but it will take time.
(Sorry to get personal, but I just had to say that so I don't sound hypocritical to those who know the situation).
15 comments:
I'm so in love with this post. Thanks for being one of the good people who don't think that their way is the only way - and if you don't choose it, well you must be going to hell and how dare you think you get the same rights as the rest of us.
Tatum:
I total agree with all that you said in this post. Good for you for standing up for whay you believe in!! It's their life, their right, and frankly none of our business how they choose to live it!
Tatum:
I total agree with all that you said in this post. Good for you for standing up for whay you believe in!! It's their life, their right, and frankly none of our business how they choose to live it!
Prop 8 isn't against homosexual couples. It's pro-definition of marriage between a man and a woman. I am all for partner rights, etc. but we have to protect the family. It's all we have.
Tatum I love this post :) You know it wasn't to long ago that MANY people were REALLY against the type of marriage I am. In the south they were even trying to pass laws to make it illegal. I love Jon with all my heart, I don't love him because he is Black, that isn't what attracted me to him...and I can't imagine someone else telling me that we couldn't be married. I kind of see this as the same thing. I have the opinion that you can't help who you love, and you shouldn't have to. If people don't agree for it because of a moral reason...well I guess they can find comfort in the fact that our "JOB" was never to judge others, that is for God to do.
Anyways, I really loved your blog, and that you were willing to be open about it and your personal connections ((()))
I think that is awesome that you were open about how you feel about prop 8. But I think everyone is a little confused about what prop 8 really does and what a Yes on 8 means. If you go to protectmarriage.com you will see that prop 8 is about preserving marriage and that it is not an attack on the gay lifestyle. It doesn't take away any rights or benefits. by California law domestic partners have the same rights and benefits that married spouses do and they will continue to have those benefits. What saying yes on Prop 8 does is it protects children from being taught in public school as part of their curriculum about same sex marriage. No on prop 8 will mean that children as little as kindergarten will be taught in school that gay marriage is okay. That is an issue that parents should be able to discuss with their children at their own will and when they feel is right not when the government and school wants to teach them about it, it should be taught according to their own values and the right of the parents to teach their children when they feel is right would be taken away. As you can see I feel very strongly about this, i have 2 sisters and a brother that live in California so it hits very close to home. A no vote would mean that my nieces and nephews would be taught about gay marriage by the schools in kindergarten, when that is something that should be taught in the home. i agree with you that people that want to live the gay lifestyle should have the right to do so, but prop 8 does not take away that right it just protects marriage and our right to teach our children in our own way and according to our beliefs and values, which is how it should be.
Tatum,
First of all, I love blog stalking you. I enjoy reading all your posts maybe just for the fact that you always keep updated and I don't hehe. But I just wanted to tell you that I love your blog, their is nothing better than the love of two people no matter who those people are. I have a best friend who is gay and I honestly can say that there is nothing more beautiful than his happiness.
I also love that you are truly a loving person to ALL the people around you. Thanks for being that person everyone wants to be. The person who is honest and can stick up for everything they believe. Love,
Melanie
You tell them girl
hey there, don't really know you, i've been blog-hopping...
but i agree with you. it just feels wrong to tell other people that they can't have the same freedoms because they live a different lifestyle. with that said... i'm glad i don't have to vote on proposition 8, because i think i would feel torn.
Hey Tay,
It's so nice we have freedom of speech-gotta love the blog too for the outlet it is! You shouldn't think people will "hate on you" for speaking your mind, heck I'm going to tell you exactly what I think, you know me I have to add my 2 cents:) Living out here in Cali during this election has been a huge eye opener. Aaron and I have both been to meetings (including at Aaron's school which is VERY pro gay marriage) where they talk about the effects and ramifications if this proposition doesn't pass. I spent a few hours walking door to door here in San Diego with the YES campaign which gave me the opportunity to hear ALOT of peoples' points of view. I've also studied the information on NoOnProp8.com. I had the same views you presented in your blog at the beginning of this election until I really started talking to people, studying both sides and sitting down with Aaron to talk about the legal parameters of the issue. Sarah Ball you are so right about what you said regarding the effect it would have in school. Yes I realize children are going to recognize and learn it anyways, but why would we let government decide when and how it's taught. And although this is a concern, there's far reaching effects that will continue through the years and have already started in the short few months since 4 judges overturned the vote of the people. One that scares me is what I'm able to teach the Young Women in my ward or what my future children will be able to be taught in their Sunday School classes and seminary. I believe in The Proclamation to the Family as it states "...that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God ..." This is a religious belief of mine so as of now in the state of Californina this could be recognized as a hate crime until Prop 8 passes as an amendment to California's constitution. Many, including me, fear that if Prop 8 doesn't pass that there will be lawsuits against churches for teaching from certain references in the bible (specifically in Romans and Genesis). Another fear of mine is that government won't recognize my church's marriage ceremonies as lawful because we don't perform gay marriages. I realize that not everyone has the same religious beliefs as me but by not passing Prop 8 you are taking away religious rights. Proposition 8 doesn’t take away any rights or benefits of gay or lesbian domestic partnerships. Under California law, “domestic partners shall have the same rights, protections, and benefits” as married spouses. (Family Code § 297.5.) I am definitely a Yes on 8! I believe that you can oppose gay marriage and still be supportive of homosexuals. I feel strongly that by redefining "marriage" you redefine more than just a word.
PENNY!!! WOW!! Truely amazing..that really helps to clear up a lot it seems like you have really done your research! I 100% agree with you, and i appreciate your willingness to help others understand, by going from door to door! YES ON 8!!
Tatum..by the way i am so glad i ran into your blog! How are you?
Hey guys! I'm so glad u found me, it's good to hear from u since we never get to see u guys! Looks like u guys are doing good. Yes, we have a new little one on the way, we're way excited! Now u guys need to get on that! I was lookin at ur hawaii pics and that's right where jason is from. He's from Hau'ula, it's right next to Laie. It's sooo fun there! Anyways-keep in touch guys!
I hope you and your mom are able to work things out. I have always enjoyed the way your family thought less of what people thought and more of what made them happy. I have no idea what you are going through and I don't envy you but I hope you the best and hope you and your family will find happiness.
As far as the gay marriage thing, I am torn. I believe gay couples should have the same health, death, etc. benefits as traditional, but I beleive by definition marriage is between a man and a woman. I may be wrong and that is not uncommon for me.
Good luck.
Courtney Coates
Tatum,
I appreciate your views, and I understand why you feel as you do. I am also very impressed with Sarah Ball's and Penny's comments above, and I agree with them. They both speak so wisely. I'd like to add another view on the subject:
As a teacher, mother, and grandmother, I realize that children and adults make right and wrong choices every day, and with every choice we make (right or wrong) comes the appropriate consequences of that choice.
As a mother, I love my children regardless of their choices, and I will do all I can to help them correct wrong choices if I can. I can't force them to change, since they have the God-given gift of free agency. I also know that the best teaching moments are when the natural consequence is the punishment.
God deals with His children in the same way. He allows us our freedom to choose, and He loves us in spite of our choices. He even rewards (blesses) those who follow his laws and commandments....and the natural consequences punishes those who don't.
God and the leaders of his church do not hate gays; good Christians do not hate gays. However, God's laws are infinite and infallible; and living His laws will bring true happiness. Breaking His laws brings misery. That's a spiritual law which we can't change. If we desire happiness, then we need to make the choices that bring "true" happiness.
Either we believe in God and his teachings or we don't. But regardless of that fact, whether we believe or not, the spiritual law for happiness is still a fact and it can't be changed regardless of how hard people rant and rave and try to change it.
The gay issue is very complicated, but I feel it is just one more of those nasty trials which we all must deal with in life, be it health, financial, relationship problems, handicaps, inability to have children or marriage relationships, loss of a job, or whatever it might be. How we deal with these trials in our life is what makes all the difference.
The "world" would have us believe that gays have a "right" to be married and "happy" and we shouldn't deny them that. Who do you think is behind that idea? Does God say they have that right? I can't find it anywhere in the scriptures. His law states that marriage is between a man and woman, and he also has some things to say about the alternate lifestyle.
If a woman hasn't had the opportunity to marry, then she should break up someone's marriage or break the laws of chastity, and get a man (or a woman) any way she can, so she can be happy, right?? If we don't make enough money to keep us content and happy, then we should steal some from our neighbor, and then rant and rave and try to pass laws that make it right, because we "have that right"...right?? If that stop light drives us crazy and slows us down so we don't make it to work on time, then we should just run it, right?? And then try to pass laws that ban all stop lights because they're taking away our freedom. If a man isn't happy being married to a woman, then he should break up his marriage and family and "marry" a man, right?? Why of course... he should have that selfish right to happiness regardless of what his choice has done to others.
Because I believe in God and what he has spoken in the scriptures, I would suspect that your Mom's lifestyle choice has brought unhappiness and misery to your family, in spite of the fact that she may think she is much happier now. Is she really, knowing what she knows, and knowing how it has affected her family, and will her happiness be eternal?
Though, I don't agree with your mom's choice, I still love and appreciate her as a person and as a daughter of God. Yet, I can't help feeling disappointed in her choice, and feeling bad about the whole situation.
May our Heavenly Father help you and your family to heal and feel at peace. And may you come to realize why God has said that marriage between a man and a woman is the only way to bring true happiness.
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